WLKN Morning Show Archive 12/07

12/28/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• A California man wasn't too happy when his daughter opened her Christmas present.It was supposed to be a Hannah Montana CD, but it turned out the mislabeled CD was a gangsta rapper who used graphic language.No doubt, Santa will be served a subpoena before the new year.
• If you are a philatelist, you are no doubt excited about the U.S. Postal Service's announcement on what will be coming out in 2008.You can expect to see stamps of Bette Davis, Frank Sinatra and the flags of several states (but not Wisconsin, that's next year) sometime between now and next December.
• Lots and lots of weird criminals in the news.An Oklahoma woman was ticketed because her goats were trying to create little goats on her front lawn; A thief who tried to break into a police car in the police parking lot; Robbers dressed as cops who hijacked a Fed-Ex truck and couldn't open the storage containers; the drunk father who appointed his nine year-old son as his designated driver and a man who assaulted another man simply because he heard him use the phrase "Who's your daddy."

12/27/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Football seems like it is ruling our country.First, , m, embers of congress are patting themselves on the back because they got the NFL network to broadcast Saturday night's game on over the air TV.You'd think they'd have more important things to do, but apparently not.Then, in Louisiana, a trial was delayed because of the BCS championship game between LSU and Ohio State.I get the feeling Thomas Jefferson is somewhere scratching his head.
• A new study in Britain suggests that clowns and clown themed items in children's wards of hospital actually frighten kids.Many children are afraid of clowns.Be grateful Boy George isn't hot anymore, there would be panic in the streets!
• In the Milwaukee suburb of Waukesha, public health groups are encouraging kids to wear helmets while sledding.They are so concerned, police officers are out with radar guns tracking speeds of some of the sledders.The good thing for me is I probably wouldn't be able to go very fast on a sled due to wind drag.Plus, the cop with the radar gun would site me for being over the load limit.

12/26/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

A man in England used his laptop to download TV shows, not understanding that using the internet with his cellphone wasn't covered in his agreement.Thanks to his $54,000 cell,bill, , he may have to declare bankruptcy!
• Remembering the slogans of 2007.

12/25/07-MERRY CHRISTMAS!Now that Santa has visited your home, your kids may be asking how Santa gets around so quick and how he gets his toys and how he knows who's been naughty and nice.., The folks at Wired.com did too, so they came up with the logistics of being Santa, including a timeline and how Santa makes his money.It's very entertaining and very, very funny.

One of our holiday traditions is making Emeril's savory bread pudding.It's really awesome!I think it's the third year I've made it.Contrary to the directions, it takes a lot longer to prep for it, and you are better served cutting everything up the night before.Even if you do, it may take you up to an hour to assemble.

12/24/07-From our house to your house, Merry Christmas!

12/22/07-In my reading this morning, I came across this darkly funny article about the modern interpretation of your favorite Christmas specials.It's obviously written tongue in cheek.

12/21/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• A Utah woman named Mary Young married a man named Brian Christmas, thus making her Mary Christmas.She says making appointments is awkward.You think? Or how about this exchange."Merry Christmas!""Yes, I am!"
• That old standby gift, fruitcake, can actually be a good gift if you buy the right,one<, /STRON, G>.
• Jay, Conan, Jon and Stephen are about to go back to work even though the writer's strike continues.Maybe the jokes will actually be funnier.
• We had a guest this morning.Our old friend, Murphy Elf joined us from the North Pole to give us an update on how preparations were going for Santa's trip.If you missed it this morning (shame on you!) click here to listen!

12/20/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• A woman took her husband to Pittsburgh Steelers game.What made this is unique is that her husband is dead and he attended the game in an urn.I guess that makes it hard to do the wave.
• A man in England used to have a 22,000 light Christmas display at his home in a subdivision.But the locals were concerned about traffic and the fact the man was collecting for charity and passed a resolution that his display be limited to 300 lights this year.You've got to love homeowners associations.
• Some more weird criminals.A woman defied a court order to stop harassing her drag queen neighbor.A, , n Ohio woman is in trouble for stealing hair extensions.A Florida cop, in full uniform and in a marked squad car, got picked up for drunk driving.And, a Connecticut woman is in jail because she groped Santa Claus, which leads us to ask the obvious question "Is that a candy cane in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" Obviously, she makes the naughty list this year!

12/19/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• A man from Maryland discovers he is the King of the Isle of Man.He's decide, d to put off his invasion plans until after the holidays.
• The American Film Institute has issued their yearly list of the 10 best movies and TV shows.Yes, it's very artsy.
• Some more weird criminals this morning.A man tried make a clean getaway by trying to elude police by driving through a car wash (Popeye Doyle would have been proud.)In Michigan, a woman tried to shoot her husband missing him and taking out their flat screen TV.Husbands can be replaced, but good flat screen Tv's, that's just criminal!

12/18/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• A British group urges employers to give employees Christmas Eve off.Since Christmas is on a Tuesday, many people will be very , unmotivated...and unhealthy calling in sick.You will hear me on your radio Monday morning.
• In what has to be considered a Christmas miracle, a New York window washer fell 47 stories and lived.Experts say wind gusts may have slowed the man down enough to save him.Free falling from a building, you are traveling about 125mph.It makes you really admire Wyle E. Coyote.

  

• Some very weird criminals this morning.A woman in Nashville became Cathy Bates in a parking garage; a tow truck driver made the mistake of towing a marked police car and after robbing a convenience store, some not so smart robbers backed their getaway vehicle into a parked police car.They were caught.
• Dr. Phil is not too happy about having to pay $140 for a haircut.Having a similar hairline, I can't say as how I disagree with him.Perhaps the good Doctor should ask Robin for a Flobee for Christmas.

12/17/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Sad news as singer-songwriter Dan Fogelberg has died at 56 from cancer.He's a group of select singer-songwriters from the 70's who wrote great "story songs."Others included Jim Croce, Harry Chapin and John Denver who also died tragically young.Fogelberg's hits include "Leader of the Band", "Run for the Roses", "Longer" and my personal Dan Fogelberg favorite "Part of the Plan."If you want to find out how good this guy was, tell someone you want a copy of his CD "Phoenix".It's awesome.
• If you want to see Celine Dion in Vegas you are too late.Five years and $400 million dollars later, the Canadian songstress has ended her run at Cesar's Palace.The good news for her fans is that she'll be hitting the road soon including a summer date in Milwaukee.
• "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby has been named the favorite Chr, istmas song of radio listeners in a recent survey by two research companies, ., "J, ingle Bells" by the Barking Dogs was voted the worst.

12/15/07-A while back, w, e shared with you the story of Santas in Australia not being allowed to say "ho ho ho" anymore because it was felt that the phrase was demeaning to women.Well, as it turns out, it was just an urban legend.

12/14/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Congratulations to a couple of Lake 98.1 artists, John Mellencamp and Madonna for being voted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.Who do I talk to about getting Jim Croce nominated?
• In the annual "wackiest warning label" contest, the winner was a tractor that had a label "DANGER: AVOID DEATH!"The contest is held annually by a group trying to prevent silly lawsuits from ambitious lawyers trying to take advantage of loopholes.
• We had a boatload of "Weird Criminals" this morning.There was the former Florida councilman caught drunk driving and drinking suntan lotion; The Teacher who took a few tokes to help face his class.Good thing he doesn't teach my step-daughter or he'd be taking LSD; A man that showed up for jury duty with a sword hidden in his cane; A man who was so drunk he put a b, ologna in his pants and walked out of convenience store and the Green Bay dentist who continued to work on people even after license was revoked for substandard dentistry.Perhaps he figured since they took away his license he needed the practice!
• It's that time of year again, the time of year for lists.Time Magazine has come out with their list of 2007's most awkward moments.Most of mine come weekday mornings between 5am and 8am!

12/13/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• If you are planning on purchasing a talking Jesus doll this Christmas, you'd better hurry.Wal-Mart is sold out and Target.com is pretty close to being sold out.
• Ike Turner passed away last night at the age of 76.Best known for being Tina Turner's abusive husband, Ike actually recorded the first rock and roll song (Rocket 88) in 1951.The song was produced by an unknown Memphis producer named Sam Phillips and the success of the record launched his career.Phillips went on to discover a skinny truck driver from Tupelo, Mississippi named Elvis Presley.So, really, if it wasn't , for Ike Turner, there might not have been an Elvis.It sounds like an episode of Quantum Leap, doesn't it?
• A boy in Iceland dialed a number that he thought was the White House switchboard and got an unlisted number which turned out to be a super secret line used by the President.Wow!Needless to say, the boy is in a bit of hot water.We dialed the number, but all we got was Dick Chaney's voice mail.

12/12/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Going to a holiday party?Some of those little bites they pass out may not make your waistline so little.Here's a list of what you might want to consider avoiding, or at least eating in moderation.
• Get well wishes are in order for Jeopardy host Alex Trebeck who had a mild heart attack yest, erday.He's doing fine at an LA hospital and will be back to saying "sorry, no" in January.I'll take "reasons to call 911" for two hundred, Alex.

• Yesterday, Governor Doyle declared it "Snow Plow Driver Appreciation Day" in honor of the men and women who plow our streets and leave two feet of hard packed snow on the apron of our driveway.I'm convinced the guy who plows our neighborhood hates me.

12/11/07---Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Every school kid's favorite activity, the field trip is going the way of the dodo due to fuel costs and security concerns.I loved field trips growing up and because of them I got to go to several cool museums, some awesome plays and movies and the only round of golf I ever played (in seventh grade.)
• For the person that has everything, try "The Flawless", a drink being served in a London Restaurant.But if you thought $7.50 was a bit much for a Long Island Iced Tea at Bennigan's, then stay away.The price tag on this baby is $71,000.It has several rare liquors in it, plus an eleven carat diamond at the bottom of the glass.That's an awfully expens, , ive box of crackerjacks just to get that prize.
• Imagine kicking back in your hot tub to forget about your troubles and staring down at a mountain lion.It happened recently to a woman in Deadwood, South Dakota.Fortunately for all parties involved, the big cat ran off into the woods with no incident.It's a good thing Leo wasn't in the mood for chunky beef soup.
• A nun in Detroit wanted to make absolute sure her students knew what words would not be tolerated on the school playground.So, ala George Carlin, she recited them all in front of the students at an assembly.It reminds me of when Jake and Elwood Blues went to visit "The Penguin."

12/10/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• It seems like the Christmas rush turns people into chuckleheads while driving large metal vehicles.I had people cutting me off all weekend...in parking lots, out of strip malls, on the highway.It's not worth becoming a statistic to save five seconds by speeding or cutting someone off.If Christmas shopping turns you into to Dale Earnhardt, please, for the sake of humanity, shop on the Internet.
• The Performing Rights Society (the British version of the RIAA) certainly has no holiday spirit.Dam House is a charity in Great Britain which is trying to raise money to save an historic building and provide community health facilities.Unfortunately, they played the radio in their kitchen in their tea room a little too loud and now the PRS is demanding they pay for it.So, Dam House collected the money and purchased the proper license.But wait, there's more!When the PRS found out that Dam House had childr, en come in and sing holiday songs, they demand that Dam House pony up more rights fees.This either soun, d, s like an episode of "The Sopranos" or just a really, really bad joke.It makes you think that if you sing Happy Birthday to someone in a public place, someone is going to jump out of a potted plant with an outstretched palm.
• Emeril has a great tip about a customized cookbook for a unique Christmas gift.In an unrelated story, the chef tapes his last "Emeril Live" tonight for the Food Network.Darn, and I never got to get tickets to see it.
• Did you know you can do other things with beer than drink it during a Packers game?Here's ten things you can do with beer.I love the suggestion of adding beer to your bath!I've never had a beer bath before, but once at a Packers game, I did take a beer shower!
• Oh my! Trouble the Dog is being sued by a former employee of Leona Helmsey who claims Trouble attacked her repeatedly when she worked for the late hotel magnate.A similar 2005 suit was thrown out of court.I know for a fact that dogs react to those they think are going to harm them or their human. That's why our dogs, Butkus D. Dogg and Murphy A. Dogg, go nuts whenever a teenage boy comes over.Good dogs! No word yet if Trouble will have to testify.

12/7/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• If you are interested in your high , s, chooler participating in the Senate scholar program, please click here.
• A couple in Florida has been ordered to take down their American flag that they fly in the back yard because it violates the rules of their homeowner's association.I've had a couple of issues with mine and the next time Princess and I buy a house, it's going to be out in the woods.
• My favorite brand of potato chips, Jays, is now under new ownership and if the way the new owner are treating their soon to be former employees is any indication, I just may be switching brands soon. Not that I actually should eat potato chips.
• On our weird criminals segment, we talked about a cop that lost his job because his wife laced his dinner with wacky weed.He's suing to get his job back.And, two naked men entered an Arizona convenience store and bought candy and doughnuts.I'm not ev, en going to begin to speculate where they kept their wallets.
• In showbiz news, A bus carrying a group of audience members crashed on the way to a , taping of the "Dr. Phil" show.I wonder if the bus driver will be a guest on the show.And, in a follow up to a story we had yesterday, actress Teri Hatcher (through her mouthpiece) lips off about the lawsuit against her. The suit accusing her of promoting a rival product in violation of an exclusivity agreement.According to her lawyer, the company bringing the suit, Hydroderm is under new management and wants to recoup some of the $2.4 million the previous management paid Hatcher in 2005.

12/6/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• On our weird criminals segment, in Germany, a man was ticketed and eventually had his vehicle confiscated for driving twenty miles over the posted speed limit.What makes him a weird criminal?His vehicle was a wheelchair! Now, there's a dude who needs to be on "Pimp My Ride".Or, it's Joe from "Family Guy."
• Desperate Housewife Teri Hatcher is being sued for $2.4 million by a lipgloss company that claimed she violated an exclusivity agreement., Her lawyers call it "baseless."A baseless law suit in this day and age?Go on!
• There's a great new website where you can actually make yourself into one of the Chipmunks.You can even sing like a Chipmunk.There have been several sites like this in concert with movie launches and my personal favorite was the launch of the Simpsons movie over the summer.That site allowed you to turn yourself into a Simpsons character.Check me out below:

12/5, /07-Here's wha, t we talked about this morning:

• There's a new roundabout on the north end of Sheboygan at the I-43 exit on to Highway 42.In England, some poor guy didn't quite make it around one there.The pictures will tell the story.
• Celine Dion is being fired by Hillary Clinton.Celine had been singing Hillary's theme song, but the campaign now wants to go , in a different direction, perhaps one that will appeal to more men.
• Trouble the Dog, who inherited $12 million from the estate of the late Leona Helmsley had to be moved out of town to avoid kidnappers.If you want to try something similar at my house, leave the dogs and take the teenager.I guarantee that you'll return her without a ransom!
• Mary from St. Nick's hospital reminds you to wash your hands a lot this holiday season.People spread a lot of germs through hand contact and the best thing you can do to prevent cold, flu, bubonic plague (just kidding!) is keep your hands clean.Carrying baby wipes in your car, purse or briefcase is always a good idea.Or you could adopt the Michael Jackson approach, but then people will think you are weird!

12/4/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• On weird criminals, we told you about the dad who left his kids sleeping in the car while he went into a strip club.Then, there was the guy who mounted lights on his car and pretended to be a cop to avoi, d traffic.And, in what seems like it came right out of an episode of "The Simpsons", a guy led police on a chase in a doughnut truck.The chase was slowed several times when the cops stopped to pick up doughnuts coming out of the back of the truck (just kidding.)
• Who's going to perform at halftime of the Super Bowl?Here's a hint: He doesn't have to live like a refugee and he was at Mary Jane's last dance.
• Staffers at NBC mistook a British legislative leader for a party crasher and booted him off the stage at the recent lighting of the New York City Christmas Tree.Turns out, he's a big deal back home and was the gue, st of New York's Mayor, Michael Bloomberg. (second story down)
<, LI>Actress Katherine Heigl( Izzie on Grey's Anatomy") came out and panned her big summer movie "Knocked Up" in Vanity Fair magazine.She also wants out of her contract on "Grey's Anatomy" because when she signed it she was an unknown and now she's "a movie star." Setsiders there say she's quickly becoming a pain in the posterior. Heigl was also the cast member that was the most vocal last year over last year's unfortunate comments by Isaiah Washington, leading to Washington getting booted from the show.

12/3/07-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Here's a c, , ouple of tips to help you through the winter.Snow sticking to your shovel?Spray it down with cooking spray.If you park outside and your locks have a tendency to freeze, a good coating of Pam should keep them from sticking.
• When you eat with others, you are being silently judged.That's why you never pick up a soup bowl with both hands and yell "chug" I suppose.
• In New Zealand, Santa is not very jolly about being replaced by an inferior Claus.
• A Florida hotel owner is angry that a forecast of a busy hurricane season didn't come to fruition.So, he's suing the local weatherman. It's a classic case of shooting the messenger.
• South Dakota has been named the least depressed state in the union.I guess it's easy to be happy when you have a smile frozen on your face ten months a year.