WLKN Morning Show Archive 1/08

1/31/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Our weird criminal this morning comes from Oregon. Police were in pursuit of a man wanted on several charges when police dogs found him hiding in a hot tub. That's what I call being in the soup.
• There is a new style of jeans that you have to wait six months to wash. Teenagers across the country rejoice while their parents, who are constantly taking their clothes out of the dryer after they have been left there for days, rejoice even more.
• The Sheboygan County Sheriff's office will be getting Tasers soon but just the pistol variety. However, your friends at Taser have a new product, a Taser rifle with a range of thirty feet. Shocking!

1/30/08-Obviously this morning our only topic was the weather, which was so cold the penguins at the Manitowoc Zoo were wearing parkas. I did find one thing this morning I think you will enjoy. There's a new sport which has youngsters riding a sheep until they fall off. It's called Mutton Dogging. Where do I find wacky stuff like this? Why, Ewe Tube, of course Take a look:

1/29/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• An upstate New York restaurant has a unique way of charging for children: By height. Parents of taller children are not amused. Maybe the have a problem with dishonest midgets.
• Paper, plastic or BYOB? Many food stores may eliminate grocery bags because they are bad for the environment. In fact, there is a growing movement for you to bring your own or buy a reusable cloth bag.
• A Japanese company now offers employees "heartache leave" following a bad breakup. If we had heartache leave around here, Packer fans would have taken last week off.<, /DIV>
• Wisconsinites spend more money at bowling alleys than any other state in the union according to a new U.S. Census report. No word on whether that includes shoe rental and beer frames.

1/28/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• A man in Pennsylvania is suing local police for tasing him even after he showed police proper I.D. The cops burst in to the home of Shawn Hicks after a silent alarm went off. Hicks insisted he lived at the house and produced ID verifying the fact, but that didn't stop the cops from, um, charging him. He obviously didn't say the magic phrase "Don't tase me, bro!."
• A woman in the Milwaukee suburbs insisted that police let her go so she could get to work after a traffic stop on Milwaukee's north side. Unfortunately for the woman, the only place she was going was the Crossbar Hilton after she blew a .27 on a field sobriety tes, t. That's over 3 times the legal limit. I had that much booze in my system, I'd be sound asleep and not worried about going to work.
• You know that shirt you really wanted to own? The one that says "Green Bay Packers, 2008 NFC Champions?" When a team loses, the NFL sends the t-shirts over seas to children in third world countries. So, somewhere deep in Africa, a child is wearing a "Packers 2008 NFC Champions Shirt" while his neighbor is enjoying his "Seattle Seahawks, 2006 Super Bowl Champions" shirt. It's too bad they don't have internet access because I'd like to see some of these items on E-BAY.
• In Australia, a landlord is suing the daughter of a tenant for back rent. Even though the Tenant is DEAD. The landlord told a Sidney court that the man had eight months remaining on his lease and it's not his problem that he's dead. I'll bet this guy is really fun around Christmas time.

1/25/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Bad news for the Packers: Tony Romo has put Jessica Simpson on waivers to go back to his college sweetheart. This probably means he won't be as distracted next season. Unless, of course, someone hooks him up with Brittney Spears.
• Al Schwan, President of the Schwan's Food Company is being inducted into the Frozen Food Hall of Fame. Schwan runs the company , with , those big yellow trucks that come to your door and deliver some pretty good quality meals. Once, our Schwan's guy, Tom, just missed us and Princess and I got in the car and chased him several blocks just to make sure we got our order in. Other members of the Frozen Food Hall of Fame include Schwan's late brother Marvin, Clarence Birdseye and baseball great Ted Williams.
• A couple recently received an electric bill for $100,000. The electric company has already called reminding them that it must be paid. The couple obviously believe the bill is wrong. As many lights and TVs and radios as the teenager that lives at our house leaves on, we could even get an electric bill that high. Close, but not that high.
• Those three bikini clad women who were shown on TV during Sunday night's Green Bay football game have received a lot of pub for the stunt. Not only have they been on Howard Stern and a couple of the morning TV news shows, but now they are being courted by Maxim Magazine. The only problem (a, nd it's not their problem) is they insist on being photographed in full bikinis. Good for them! We'll see if money talks and bikini tops walk.

1/24/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• You've seen "goths", those wacky people who dress in all black with the heavy eye makeup and a lot of chains and metal jewlery. My step-daughter went Goth a couple of years ago (but gave it up thank goodness. Those chains on her pants were killing our dryer.) In England, a Goth man walking his girlfriend on a leash was refused admission to a city bus when the driver said "we don't let freaks and dogs on here." Johnny Cash was unavailable for comment.
• In Maryland, a man whipped out his phone book to call the Governor's Office but was connected to a sex line instead. Obviously, the number in the phone book was wrong. This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "government service."
• How's your style? Many people are turning to style consultants to keep them make them look hip, thinner and younger. The cost of one may be less than the cost of one b, ad choice suit. I have no need for a wardrobe consultant. In fact, my wardrobe is perfect for what we do here at Lake 98.1: The best variety of clothing from the 70's, 80's, 90's and today.

1/23/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• In what can only be called a tragedy, actor Heath Ledger was found dead in his New York City apartment. Ledger, who was only 28, starred in the controversial film, "Brokeback Mountain." Here are some other actors, who like Ledger, left us much too early.
• Oprah Winfrey is getting her own cable network. The Oprah Winfrey network, or OWN, will debut this fall as a joint venture between Oprah's Harpo Productions and Discovery Channel and will occupy the slot now held by Discovery Health. Programming is being developed, but Oprah won't comment on what it might be. You go girl!
• Today's "Weird Criminals": A 75 year-old grandmother was cuffed, arrested and booked after she refused to move her car forward at a Florida fast food restaurant. The woman claims that she was doing wha, t,the employees at the restaurant told her to do. In another Florida story, a man was interrupted ransacking a house by the female home owner. The guy tried to run for it, but the homeowner, a marathon runner and black belt in Karate, ran the guy down and held him until Police could cart him off to the crossbar Hilton. Another woman awoke to her home being burgled and hid in a closet. Unfortunately for her, one of the robbers hid in there with her before the cops arrived. In what must have appeared to be a scene out of "I Love Lucy", the woman started yelling "He's in here" when the cops arrived outside the door. Finally, an 87 year-old Dallas man startled an office robber and subdued the guy with his cane when the robber tried to make off with his guns. They sure love their guns in Texas, don't they?
• Beware the sprinkler on the ceiling of your office, it may be a camera. Microsoft is seeking a patent for office spyware it is developing. The software would track your productivity,

1/21/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• I'm sure that picture is etched in your mind this morning. It was a great year for the Packers. They,went a lot farther than expected and with their young team (except for the quarterback, but hey, we all wish we could act that young at 38) they should be a force in the NFL for many years. Thanks for the memories, guys.
• Another celebrity has died. John Stewart, who wrote the song "Daydream Believer" and had a hit with the song "Gold" passed away at 68 yesterday.
• There's a debate going on between Fraser, CO and International Falls, MN over who lays claim to the term "Nation's Ice Box." International Falls has used the phrase since 1948 while Fraser began using it in 1956. The two mayors wanted to settle the issue with a duel, but couldn't decide on a snowshoe race or a snow ball fight.
• If you've ever seen the movie "National Lampoon's Vacation" with Chevy Chase, then you will no doubt appreciate this story. A family continued a trek in their RV even after Grandma died on the trip. The Grandmother actually died somewhere in Wyoming, but the family continued on to Oregon before rep,,orting the death. The family claimed Grandma's doctors told them to continue on their trip even if the woman died. No word if they tied her to the,roof.
• Here's a little game you can play around your office to ease your Packer pain: Write your own Brett Favre story.

1/20/08-Here are a couple of interesting things that I ran across in my reading this morning:

• Two memorable character actors have passed away. Suzanne Pleshette, who was Bob Newhart's wife on "The Bob Newhart Show" passed away at the age of 70. And, Allan Melvin, a great character actor who was on Gomer Pyle, All in the Family, the Brady Bunch and hundreds of shows and movies (not to mention the voice of Magillia Gorilla) is dead at 84.
• Not that anyone in these parts would be watching it anyway (because it's on during the Green Bay football game) but 60 M, i, nutes will be pre-empted tonight for a special on global warming. Obviously, Al Gore needs to come pay us a visit today.

1/18/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• A poor guy in Germany got so drunk he got on his hands and knees and began eating a dog's food to show he was the dominant male. The dog, figuring the man must be hungry, gave him a bite...on the face. It's a good thing he didn't try this at my house. Butkus D. Dog would have barked in his ear and Murphy A. Dog would have sat on him! Those dogs get really riled up when someone messes with their food!
• If you have to go to the ER, there are some things you can do to insure prompt, attentive service. Among them, call you doctor on the way and demand to see a charge nurse if you feel you are being ignored. This has become a hot button topic because CNN commentator Glenn Beck recently had a bad ER experience and has made quite a stir about it on his TV show.
• It's almost time for the big game on Sunday and many Green Bay football fans, including Governor Doyle have their game day rituals. You can send me yours here and we'll share them on Monday morning.
• Askmen.com has released a list of the top ten paying jobs for men, with number one being a surgeon. Much t, o the chagrin of my wife Princess, morning show personality on Lake 98.1 failed to crack the top 10.

1-17/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• It's that time of year.With Green Bay in the playoffs, the politicians are getting into the act.Bets have been consummated between Green Bay mayor Jim Schmitt and NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg and between Senators Charles Shumer of New York and Herb Kohl of Wisconsin.To find out what treats are on the line, click here.
• Kudos to channel 11 in Green Bay for doing their part in helping the Packers.They figured since New York Quarterback Eli Manning would be relaxing in his hotel room Saturday night at 5:30, they decided to pull a rerun of Eli's favorite show, Seinfeld from their schedule.You can vote on their website for a replacement show.I guess they figured Eli would get so mad not being able to watch his show, he would punch a wall, break his hand and give the Packers the championship by default.Bad news: Eli makes enough money to own the complete DVD box set.
• Lots of weird criminals this morning.Bank robbers in Sydney, Australia left empty handed after tellers locked themselves in an office.A rural thief who stole animal feed, stopped and fed a feline before he left.Police are still searching for him, but are convinced that he is not a cat burglar.In upstate New York, a man robbed a convenience store, but was apprehended after a police chase that wound up on the grounds of Sing-Sing Prison.A gunman attempting to rob a bank left empty handed after he nor a bank staffer couldn't figure out how to open the vault. And, in Florida, a man used drywall compound as a disguise when he pulled a bank job.Police however could identify the getaway car from the NASCAR sticker on it.After his arrest, the man admitted that it was a terrible plan and when he thought of it he must have been plastered.(Be here all week folks, try the veal.)

1-16-08 Here's what we talked about this morning:

• For centuries, the identity of the woman who posed for the Mona Lisa was a ,,mystery.It's a mystery no longer.A German scientist has discovered that the Mona Lisa is Lisa Del Giocondo, the wife of a wealthy merchant.It's enough to make anyone smile.

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• Those loveable Smurfs are celebrating a big birthday.Papa Smurf, Smurfette and the gang recently turned 50. ,The Smurfs , o, riginated in Belgium a, nd were brought to Saturday morning cartoons by NBC.It must be cold where they live.Why els, e would they be blue?
• Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.It's not just politicians and baseball players either.A recent survey s, hows that EVERYBODY lies, up to four lies a day and almost 88,000 in one 60 year lifetime.Mo, st of these are in the category of white lies as in "Does this dress make me look fat?""No, honey. You look good."

1/15/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Are you a helicopter parent?As defined, helicopter parents hyperactively intervene in the lives of their kids.There are even five types.I'm sort of old school myself and am more of a "third prong on an extension,cordparent."That's a pa, , rent that enjoys grounding you.
• There's a new bed on the market that may really help you sleep well.It heats and cools itself to your specifications and angles up or down if it senses you are snoring.At my house, this bed could save us from having to paint the ceiling every other week.
• Entertainment Weekly has compiled a list of the top 25 love songs of all time.#1 on the charts is the Beach Boys "God Only Knows."For the rest of the list, click here.
• There are a lot of good things to talk about at work like how the Packers are going to kill the Giants, new places to eat and even asking a co-wor, ker where to get your kitche, n knives shar, pened.Bu, t there are several things you probably shouldn't discuss at work because your co-workers may use them against you or you may , damage your reputation with co-workers or worse, your boss.

1/14/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Even the FBI has to pay its' phone bill.Recent undercover operations had to be suspended because the phone company cut off the bureau from vital wiretaps because they failed to pay their phone bill.The ghost of J. Edgar Hoover will surely haunt the current administration as soon as he figures out what dress to wear.
• The world's cheapest car has been unveiled in India.For about $2,500 you can own a Tata.I wonder if the airbags are made of paper.
• Lots of weird criminals again.There's the Minnesota woman who took her baby with her to work.She's a robber.An Oregon woman was arrested for DUI at .72!A man in Pennsylvania had charges against him dropped after he apologized for putting an obscene entry in the memo line of a check he wrote for a parking ticket.And, a woman in Florida fended off an attempted arm robbery by whacking the robber with her lunch pail.
• A man in M, ississippi has been ordered to pay another man $750,000 for stealing his wife.This begets the new phrase:"Let's negotiate so you can take my wife, please."

1/11/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Ever wonder where the saying "mind your Ps & Qs came from?Back in the day in England, beer was served in pints and quarts.When a fight was about to erupt, bar keeps would yell "mind your Ps and Qs" as a way to encourage customers to guard their suds.There is no shortage to the education you will get every morning beginning at 5am!
• If you had planned on owning an elephant in England, we have bad news.English law makers have ruled that the big beasts may not be kept as pets.Later today, Parliament will debate the hotly contested issue of whether or not is is legal to receive a hippopotamus for Christmas.
• Dr. Phil is really behind the eight ball with the family of embattled pop star Brittney Spears.It seems like the good doc was supposed to visit her but keep it on the QTAfter making many public state, ments about his involve,,ment and Brit, tany', s cond, ition, a S, pear, s family spokesperson says the Dr. Phil "violated their , trust."And it's not even sweeps month.

1/10/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• If you've got $8 million lying around and are looking for an investment, might we suggest the Max Yasgur place in Bethel, NY.It's the site of the original Woodstock Music Festival in 1969.
• Fashion designed Mr. Blackwell has released his list of the worst dressed celebs of 2007.Topping the list is Victoria Beckham (a.k.a. Posh Spice).Others making the dubious list include Amy Winehouse, Kelly Clarkson, Jessica Simpson and Lindsey Lohan
• Lots of weird criminals this morning.In England, a man was sent a $50 parking ticket for his vintage tractor.The problem is the tractor hasn't left the man's garage in 13 years.It turned out someone cloned his license plates and the charges were dismissed.Also in England, a fuel thief thought he was stealing deisel fuel fro, m his neighbor.It turned out it was heating oil.he was arrested when his engine blew during his escape.Speaking of fuel, a New Hampshire state trooper was helping a motorist who was out of gas when he noticed a bag of pot in the front seat.Needless to say, he did not escort the guy to Citgo.In Kansas City, some ATM theives underestimated the weight of their prize.The cops found the machine and their over turned pick-up truck along the side of a highway.And in Kingston, Washington, a man was attacked by his wife and 13 year-old son for taking away the kid's IPOD.The son allegedly bit the father's hand and then kicked him in the groin.The father is fine after receiving medical attention and hopes to audition as a background singer for the Bee Gees.

1/9/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Reese Witherspoon has been named the most liked celebrity in a poll conducted by the E-score celebrity survey.Jennifer Aniston finished second.Not doing so well were Brittany, Lindsey, Paris and Nicole.No word on what side of the ledger Dr. Phil came out on.
• Are your poorly worded and gramatically incorrect e-mails holding you back at work?Here are some ideas on how to correct the proble,,m and what to look for that could cause you problems.
• The list of the top baby names of 2007 has been released with Sophia leading the girls and Aiden topping the boys.Once again, Chip did not make the list.

1/8/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• A Chicago pub is offering a new style of chicken wings.But beware, the sauce is so hot, you have to sign a waiver to eat it.Bam!
• Dr. Phil is drawing the ire of psychology professionals after his uninvited visit in Brittany Spears hospital room this weekend.Seems the good Doc showed up unannounced and was promptly booted from the room by the patient herself.This may be a sign that Brittany has some common sense after all.
• Lots of weird criminals in the news this morning.There was the guy in Delaware who tried to hold up a gas station with a fire extinguisher.In Des Moines, a man who called police to arrest rowdy relatives was arrested himself when he got into a shoving match with police.In El Paso, Texas,a family was awakened at 3am by police bursting in their front door brandishing weapons.The cops soon discovered that they had the wrong address.In Chicago, a man was arrested bec, ause he made two bogus 911 calls just to watch police in action (I guess he's never heard of the TV show "Cops").Finally, a suspect who was being sought by police was finally found in a hallowed out couch.That's what I call a couch potato!
• The Monday after New Year's is a big day for lawyers.That's when people wanting to start anew file a lot of bankruptcies and divorces.People also take out debt consolidation loans and begin looking for new jobs.

1/7/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• How bad is the fog in Wisconsin this morning?It's so bad, Packers coach Mike McCarthy hasn't received his game tapes from Saturday's Seattle-Washington game yet.Seems that the airport in Green Bay is fogged in.Perhaps the coach should invest in a TIVO.
• In an effort to limit cow emissions, scientists in Australia are injecting cows with a kangaroo bacteria that prevents kangaroos from giving off similar emissions. I don't know about you, but the thought of cows jumping around scares me.It would also give rise to a new menu item at McDonald's: The McPocket.
• A woman who had a wild, drunken new year's eve party is unhappy about having to shell out almost $500 for cleaning.So, she sent an angry e-mail, complete with pay pal link, to solicit donations to defer the cost.I'm thinking of sending the teenager, ,that lives at our house a similar e-mail.
• If you have a co-worker that you are convinced should be fired but isn't, there may be a good reason (or at least a reason.)Some explanations include the employee has connections with higher ups, the boss feels sorry for them or the boss is afraid of them.It could also just be that you don't like the person and the problem is with you and not them.Watch your back!

1/5/08-I came across this in my reading this morning.I love disclaimers.I love how we've become so litigious that disclaimers must spelled out in plain English so that everyone can easily understand them.This disclaimer takes it to a whole different level.

1/4/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• You may be a fan of REM, but did you know one of their early videos was directed by Alton Brown?Before he left his career in cinematography to become a chef and eventually the star of the Food Network show "Good Eats", AB directed the band's video for their hit "The One I , Love."By the way, REM lead singer and founder Michael Stip, e is 48 today.
• Lots of weird criminals this morning.In San Diego, a man showed his , displeasure with his haircut by stabbing his barber.In Virginia, a woman who managed a department store reported that the days proceeds had been taken.They had.By her boyfriend.Local police rounded both her and him up, solving the mystery.And in,England, a man was sentenced to six months in jail after selling company assets on EBAY.
• New Year's resolutions differ between men and women (shock!).One expe, rt says women s, hould make a resolution that isn't easy to forget while men should focus on goals that are attainable (living on a secluded desert island with Shania Twain is not considered obtainable, guys, sorry. Especially where Mutt La, nge is concerned)

1/3/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• Latenight TV is back, despite the writer's strike.Dave obviously spent his time off growing a beard and had a cameo appearance by Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton. Jay ad-libbed his own material while welcoming Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee and Chef Emeril Lagasse.Conan killed time by spinning his wedding band on his desk and seeing how long he could spin it for.All of the hosts made comments in support of the writer's strike which has been going on for eight weeks
  

  

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• In Houma, Louisiana, two big boys were charged double for over eating at a local all you can eat buffet.After an argument (which involved local police arriving) the two men were given a complimentary meal and asked not to come back.Perhaps they should call it an "all you can eat within the bouds of reason and sanity buffet."
• In England, a,man used his Aunt's XL underwear to put out a fire that started in the kitchen, , giving a whole new meaning to the term "hot pants."

1/2/08-Here's what we talked about this morning:

• It , was profoundly sad on New Year's eve to watch Dick Clark.Yes, I know he owns the production of "New Year's Rockin' Eve" but even so, they should have never let him on TV.Watching him struggle with speaking and being barely intelligible is no way to watch the final appearances of a TV legend.
• Congress has added 75 classic films to the national film register.Among them the great court room drama "Twelve Angry Men" and "Bullitt" which may have the greatest car chase scene ever.
• A man from Pennsylvania is suing an eight year-old boy claiming the boy caused him to fall on a ski slope.I'm sure that for his trouble, the man will win all of the boys valuables including a baseball glove, a G.I. Joe an,,d a pet frog.
• Say goodbye to Wedginald, the cheese wheel,that's been maturing on "Cheddarvision" a website people can't get enough of.Cheddarvision will return later this year with a new wheel of cheese for you to watch.
• At our house on New year's Eve, we made several fun and tasty dishes.From the chili to the B, BQ beef Brisket (with Princess' secret southern BBQ sauce, , to the crowd pleasing smokies wrapped in bacon, everything went great.I even made pigs in a blanket with puff pastry with dijon dipping sauce and stuffed some mushrooms with crabmeat and breadcrumbs.We also had a nice cheese tray and a raw vegg, ie t, ray with horseradish dip.Here's the whole spread.

1/1/08-

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Murphy A. Dogg: Dog, that was some party last night.

Butkus D. Dogg: Shut, up dog, I'm trying to sleep it off

Murphy A. Dogg: Happy New Year!

Butkus D. Dogg: Keep it down, dog.My head hurts!

12/29/07-I ran across this in my reading this morning.It sounds like something Sid Caesar did on TV in 1953. Also, if you've ever wondered what the President eats at Christmas, you are in luck!Here it is.